5 posts tagged “humor”
Capcom Headquarters: Japan
Capcom spokeswoman Tomoe Ishida was pleased to announce Poizon, a revolutionary new fighting game where your goal is to have your avatar get hit and suffer damage in parts of their bodies that make them experience the most pain. Only one publicity image for the game is currently available through Famitsu Media.
"We know most fighting games are about being violent and inflicting physical and psychological damage onto your opponents. This is a very archaic way of thinking that was dragging the fighting game genre down. We hope that Poizon will re-invent this sadly abandoned type of game."
A tentative release date has been set to April 31st, 2008 but no distributor or shop has any plans to stock it.
ポワゾンダブリル Poizondouble is really copyright Alchemist Soft's April Fools joke for a flight simulation game.
I couldn't resist using that image that Alchemist released for my own inane jokes. =x
Real story in Japanese here. Same story in English thanks to Google.
I didn't write this but boy did it amuse me.
To people seeking creative work: Please include your budget or amount you're willing to pay for the job in your job description, because this is how us creatives read some of these ads. If you're up front and honest about the job, you'll get solid work for fair compensation.....
Ad Translations:
"We're looking for a creative that's hard working and driven to succeed!" = We don't have any money to pay you and are hoping there's someone out there that will give away their work for free. After all, creative work is fun for you and we think you make a living off of the Endowment for the Arts or something.
"We're looking for a creative that wants great exposure!" = We don't have any money to pay you and are hoping there's someone out there that will give away their work for free for exposure in something no one will see. We think we're Nike.
"The chosen professional will be considered for additional long term opportunities" = We don't have any money to pay you and are hoping there's someone out there that will give away their work for free. After that, we might throw you a $25 logo or something.
"Looking for students or entry-level professionals" = At least we're admitting we don't have any money to pay you.
"Must have XX years of agency experience with big brands. Send us your concepts! (we retain the rights to anything submitted)" = We don't have any money to pay you, but still want top-quality work. So go ahead and send us work that we might use as we see fit. You'll never hear from us again, but you might see your work.
"Must produce work based on our supplied sketches/crappy mock-ups" = We don't have any money to pay you, and are going to micro-manage your work until we see something that we like. We're looking for computer monkeys.
"Looking for fresh, hot, up-and-coming professionals/designers" = We don't have any money to pay you, nor do we have any style. We wouldn't know hot and fresh if it came in and crapped in our chair.
"Looking for TALENTED professionals for networking opportunities!" = We don't have any money to pay you because we spend it on hip parties, but we're about to meet some people who know some people who know some other people that just might be willing to hire you for something else. Did we mention we go to hip parties?
"Design contest!!!!" = We don't have any money to pay you and we're hoping a lot of dopes out there might give us a lots of work for free.
"Get in with a company that's on it's way up OR great opportunity to break into the business!!" = We don't have any money to pay you and never will.
"Quick money for the right professional!!" = We might have a little money, but the job will take so much of your time, you might break $1 an hour after it's all said and done.
"Looking for a PARTNER not a company. If you want immediate compensation, this is not for you." = We don't have any money. In fact, you should pay US for even considering you.
Pitching is a very important skill for Game Designers to have. You must get other people excited about your ideas and fund a game they haven't played yet. This satirical video about the importance of a good pitch is a must see!
My boss said "hey check it out! I've got a Wii controller and Red Steel!"
Like a bunch of fools, a few of us ran in to see what he was doing. Nope, what boss man had was a gyro mouse and MS Paint open.
If I could afford a gyro mouse, I'd probably try this trick on my friends...
I do love BBSpot. Think The Onion for the technically inclined and much much funnier.
Microsoft Releases OS Developer Tycoon.
Best game-related article since their ActiveDeath controller!
